All her life, all her desires and hopes were concentrated on this one man, still uncomprehended by her, to whom she was bound by a feeling of alternate attraction and repulsion, even less comprehended than the man himself, and all the while she was going on living in the outward conditions of her old life.

Living the old life, she was horrified at herself, at her utter insurmountable callousness to all her own past, to things, to habits, to the people she had loved, who loved her--to her mother, who was wounded by her indifference, to her kind, tender father, till then dearer than all the world.

At one moment she was horrified at this indifference, at another she rejoiced at what had brought her to this indifference.

She could not frame a thought, not a wish apart from life with this man; but this new life was not yet, and she could not even picture it clearly to herself.